The coffee morning.

I am back in Delhi after a flying visit back to Blighty where my mind was firmly put at rest. Not only is my mum doing great and being incredibly positive she also found time to feed me up and come up with a solution for Ghandi's heel, which you will be pleased to hear is on the mend. Sometime's only mum will do when it comes to healing ailment's. It is almost like they have 4 years at med. school built in to their dna structure, something the male of the species will never be able to match. Thanks again mum, it was great to see you.



The return flight was filled with equal amounts of excitement and dread. I was pant wettingly excited about the prospect of seeing the boy's and 'A' again but utterly terrified at the thought of my daily routine being demolished by the enemy of the stay at home parent, 'The other half'!! Will she have changed Silas's sleep times? Will she have remembered to let Raffi kick her in the groin for 20 mins in the afternoon to get rid of his agression? (he needs it as he has no peers to do it to). Will she have turned the mossie killer in the boy's bedroom on at night? More to the point, will they have had more fun without me? This is the real problem if I am honest. That little nagging thought that is always in the back of my head that I really do not want answering. Am I really any good at this house huband lark or would the boy's be better off with their mum?Can a dad seriously expect to be able to replace the maternal instinct? Would I ever know how to heal Ghandi's heel? I find myself wondering if mum's are ever riddled with the self doubt that I am currently experiencing. Do they ever sit on the settee watching Jeremy Kyle and think that the children would actually be better off with their dad? I don't think so but, perhaps they do and they are just better at hiding it. Normally I would throw this out to you helpful readers for the answer but now I no longer need to as I have joined the Delhi Network.


The Delhi Network is a support group for ex-pats of all nationalities which offers advice and support to the 'newbies' in town. They meet at a hotel very near us on a Tuesday morning for tea and cakes so I decided to go along with the boy's to see if I could meet some like minded fella's to bounce my new found paranoia off. I arrived in the hotel and was suprised but not displeased to find it populated by women only! The boy's and I had stumbled into the very heart of the beast that is "the coffe morning"! I can only imagine what the look on my face must have been like but I am thinking something along the lines of Mary Whitehouse being shown a video of Debbie Does Dallas, pure horror morphing into mild intrigue! Standing there looking like six o'clock half struck a lady asked if there was anything she could do for me? Resisting the urge to dive straight in and ask whether she thought dad's could ever do the parenting 'thing' as well as a mum's, I asked who I needed to speak to about membership? Within five minutes I was sat at a table with a dozen women, a jam doughnut and a large skinny latte discussing whether or not the Peter and Katie split was just for publicity. I didn't even know who Peter and Katie were and assumed they were talking about someone from the club. Then someone mentioned Jordan and the penny dropped. It is at this point when in my normal circle of friends that the the size of her tit's would come up but instead I commented on what an excellent business women she appears to be. Apart from Jordan I felt completely at home as we discussed what we do and do not miss about home, how important routine is for children and how hard it is to get a decent croissant in Delhi. Two hours fairly flew by and I found myself actually enjoying myself. Maybe it was the adult conversation that I have been craving, maybe it was the coffee, or maybe it was the fact that I was the only adult male and had two very cute kid's in tow and hence got quite a lot of attention. I am not sure but rest assured I am now a huge fan of the ladies coffee morning and can't wait for the Clarins make-over which is happening next week.



I think I am now gradually getting the hang of being the indianhousehusband. It seems that 'guilt' and 'easy option's' are essentially what it all boils down to. It is the easy option to give the boy's biscuits and chocolate rather than make them eat fruit but giving them the easy option makes you feel guilty. Watching Cbeebies is an easier option than making a spiderman mask with them but makes you feel guilty. Letting them entertain each other while you take time to surf the net is the easy option but again the hand of mr. guilt is always tapping on your shoulder. I am fast learning that when looking after the kid's, the more you put into it the more you get out. The easy option is not really an option after all. Feeling's of guilt are best replaced with the pure smug elation of watching them eat a bowl of fruit or jumping off the bed in their home made spiderman masks. If I can just learn to make cup cakes for my Tuesday coffee morning's and take an open university course in pre. med. I think I could end up being perfect! Got to sign off now as I need to look on the clarins web site and find a good face scrub before next week.