Ghandi's heel

I have got Ghandi's heel. I know this because a gentleman at the chai stand told me. It never ceases to amaze me what you can discover at the chai stand. Ghandi's heel is a particular nasty looking problem where most of your heel skin rots away leaving it looking a little like an elephant's foot. It is known as Ghandi's heel because the great man himself was afflicted with the problem because of the thousands of miles over several years he walked around India leading his people from the darkness into the light. He did these vast distances wearing a pair of wooden flip flop's! Seriously, he made them himself and if you have never seen them Google it to see how uncomfortable they were, it is astonishing that he got from his house to the street below! It is with a fair amount of guilt then that I have succumbed to the same problem, seeing as how I have been wearing a pair of £1.99 vulcanised rubber Top Shop flip flops and have walked no further than from my house to the shops twice a day. It is a truly disgusting looking thing, not helped by the fact that here, you could wash your feet 20 times a day and still never get them clean. During our stay at our luxury hotel (don't want to name it for fear of arrest after this confession) I liberated a good 40 bars of L'occitaine soap which we have subsequently found out sells here for about £8 a bar! I have used about £200 worth trying to rid myself of Ghandi's heel but to no avail and am now spending hour after hour hanging out with the chai wallah in the hope of finding someone who can give me a cure. All suggestions gratefully recieved.

After my last desperate post, things have taken a turn for the better (despite Ghandi's best efforts). Better news has come from home but still I am heading back for a few days to put my mind at rest and hopefully cheer up my mum. We have also now managed to get a housekeeper called Indumathi who is only 3' 2" and could probably fit in my pocket. She uses a stool to get to the cutlery draw but is great for cleaning under the beds which she does without bending down. She is also a fantastic cook and is serving up the most amazing variety of spicy curries which has helped enormously in lifting my spirits. If the way to a man's heart is indeed through his stomach she could well be a future mrs. Conde. She was one of many we saw and at the money she wanted per year even the queen of mean, the ayatollah of low dollar ie Amanda didn't have the heart to beat her down! Oh shit, She has just read this over my shoulder and stopped my pocket money which means no chai hence no cure for the heel.

I have been trying to get my head around how the Indian roads work as we are contemplating buying an Ambassador. The Ambassador is made by the hindustan motor company of India and based on the Morris Oxford. It is pure Raj understated cool and I am very excited at the prospect of cruising round Delhi with the family in relative safety -compared to the seat of your pants terror associated with our daily auto-ric rides. The main problem is that I don't want a driver, I want to be able to drive it myself and in order to do this I need to get to grips with the roads. In an effort to do this I have decided to take the bull by the horns and pound the asphalt on my mountain bike which probably has the same risk factor as biking down Everest. Each manoeuvre could easily be your last. If the thundering traffic doesn't get you there is a good chance the heat and polution will. It is quite an experience and causes utter amazement at every set of lights to the gobsmacked comuters. I was told yesterday that the only people that cycle on the Indian roads are the people that have absolutely no other choice. I am doing it for pleasure, something they find very hard to understand. So far, what I have managed to glean is that pedestrians make way for cycles, cycles for motorcycles, motorcycles for auto-ricks, auto-ricks for auto-vans, auto-vans for cars, cars for busses, busses for lorries and everything for cows! There seems to be two basic rules:-
1) There are no rules
2) Always remember rule 1

The highway code will have to be completely rewritten to drive here, nothing we percieve to be right on the roads apply! For instance if you are entering a roundabout, those already on it have to give way to you as long as a) you are driving really fast and b) you beep your horn very loudly. It is compulsory to never stop at a t- junction and under no circumstances should you ever look to the right before turning left. It would also appear that at any time, if enough people try you can turn any road into a one way street. All that needs to happen is traffic to slow and if nothing is coming the other way everyone proceeds to drive down the wrong side of the road and anyone coming that way has to move over, (usualy on to the pavement). It is utter mayhem, cars seem to just fit with every other vehicle just sliding past by a matter of inches. I really don't know if it will ever feel "normal". Luckily for me I happen to have a ready made driver perfect for the road conditions here. Someone who has never really paid any attention to the highway code. Someone who (as anyone who has been in a car with her will vouch) has no sense of space and no fear. Step forward Amanda. Congratulations, you are my new driver!