I have had a surreal look into what my life would be like without 'A' this weekend and have to say it was not pretty! Becoming a lad for the weekend always seems quite an exciting prospect but invariably ends in tears!
Late nights, alcoholic poisoning, fast food, golf and football should be Nirvana but the reality is usually a little different.'A' left on Thursday and when I picked Rafa up from school, all was well. We decided we were going to have a lads weekend and lots of fun but within an hour rattling around the house Rafa said "I miss my mummy". I had to agree!
There was a slight whiff of 'single parent' about the whole thing. I felt like 'A' had dropped Rafa round for a weekend of McDonald's and cartoons, while she was off for the weekend with her new beau and it really disturbed me.
I had the glory of a full on lads weekend to look forward to though, so I got all negative thoughts from my head and started getting ready for the perfect lads itinerary. Friday night - boys night out. Saturday - kids party with bar followed by football on the box and another party in the evening. Sunday - Golf followed by more drinking and football.
Does it get any better? Now excited and having stopped pretending 'A' had left me I headed out on Friday and had a top night. Arriving home very late I staggered to bed anticipating a really bad hangover. I wasn't disappointed, it was teenager in its proportions but I had parties, football and drink to get through so decided to man up and bring it on.
Saturday passed with similar consequences. A full on boozy day culminating in me very nearly spewing in the back of the car of new friends who very kindly offered me a lift home! It was Sunday am at 7.30 when Rafa woke up that the full horror of my single life hit home. With head pounding and nausea welling I had an "It's a wonderful life" style moment were the spectre of some bloated alcoholic spirit, showed me the error of my ways. With golf, more booze and football still to come I doubted whether I could do it.
I am crap at being a single lad again. Long gone are the days of wonderful lost weekends spent gambling, drinking, clubbing and pulling with no consequences and no hangovers. Now the hangovers hurt but they seem even worse without 'A' around. Maybe it is just that we have had so many together over the years I got used to having her here when I was rough, more likely, I am just getting old!
I headed for golf with my tail between my legs and a belly full of Ronald McDonald's hangover elixir and managed to work it all off in the sunshine. It was a tonic, and I even managed to brave a few beers but I knew I was going back to an empty house which caused that empty feeling in the pit of the stomach to return.
From now on I think I am going to limit my laddish activities to 24 hours. Being married with kids is a good thing, it keeps you honest and on the straight and narrow. A weekend partying is just too long these days and 3 day hangovers are no fun. If you are reading this 'A' and not shacked up with a new pair of tights already, Please don't ever leave me. The only good to come of it would be McDonald's, Kingfisher and Gordon's share prices soaring.In the mean time I would give myself 6 months!
I am now de-toxing all week and jumping on the wagon, no doubt just till my return to blighty. Once there, temptation of good red wine and being reunited with my drinking partner, means I can forget everything I have just written and revel in the glory of a stinking hangover, knowing 'A' will feel the same.
See you Saturday 'A' I have missed you loads!
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