What is the torque required for a spare wheel?

At last I know. The Mercedez Benz c220 estate sports spare wheel needs 80lb ft of torque to be secured correctly! "How do I know" I hear you cry? I have a Phil. You must have one in your circle of friends, everyone does. Genial, funny, solid, reliable, dependable but ridiculously clumsy! Thanks to Phil shearing off the locking wheel nut on my flat tyre, in his attempt to help replace it, I found out from the most cheerful RAC man in Europe that 80lb feet is the answer to my title question! The RAC man was very happy to be using "a right tidy new piece of kit I have isn't it" to remove the flat and went on his way even happier than me.

The final wekend before we depart was fantastic, it was spent in Brecon with the ever accomadating Taylor's, and could not even be spoiled by Sausage roll fingered Phil nearly making us extend our stay! Saturday night turned into an impromptu 80's night with Gus on the wheels of steel actually admitting to owning a 12" Johnny Hates Jazz record. The Sunday was spent recovering by lazing in the garden all day drinking even more wine while the kids took it in turns to whine. The only people missing on the lawn most of the day were Gus and Phil. Gus ducked in and out of the bedroom all day to relieve his hangover (though I think it was to hide his shame at the Johnny Hates Jazz confession) while Phil stood in the river Usk, knee deep for 4 hours getting burnt (he calls it fishing).

Finaly full to the brim and fed up of boozing we departed (thanks to rac man) back to our now post burgalry looking house. It is amazing that there is virtually nothing left in it (the removal men have now been) and yet it has never looked more untidy. The reality of our imminent departure is starting to hit home like a Pacquiao left hook and on top of that I am now unemployed and officialy the Indian house husband! I want to write that it is terrifying and that I feel totaly emasculated yet I am fining it incredibly liberating. A Tuesday after bank holiday while working would usually have gone like this:-

Woke late, feel shit, drive to work, have coffee, answer phone have a row with customer, bollock staff, have some breakfast, answer phone, have a row, bollock staff, phone customers, no orders,no work, shout at staff. Are you getting the picture?

This morning went like this:-

Woke early,made everyone tea,had shower, played with kids, dressed kids, took kids to nursery,had leisurely breakfast, vacuumed house, put on load of washing. Are you getting the picture?

I am really enjoying it so far and though "so far" has only been around 7 hours I am fairly positive that I am going to be a pretty decent house husband. Is that a statement that I should be proud or ashamed of? Will it always be like this? Why has Phil got such ham fists? These are questions I now have time to ponder. My head has been emptied completely of work and the vacuous fog that once stalked my frontal lobe has now been replaced with a clearly functioning, state of the art, multi tasking, dare I say it female like brain! At this rate I could become useful.