Tears before tandoori

This is not how it is supposed to be! A week to go and the tears will not stop, I actually nearly cried while looking at a 4 pack of stella this afternoon. Everything seems to remind me of a life that I haven't even left behind yet.

I thought the last of the tears would have been at my parents house last weekend when we had a last minute outpouring of Niagra proportions. A stiff upper lip was the order of the day as we ate "the last supper" but I think we all knew the countdown was on in the sub conscious to the final goodbye. Sure enough we were not disapointed and the hugging almost became ritualistic, I even half expected Bruce Parry to turn up and start filming a documentary at one point.

This wasn't to be the worst of it though. I met up with the "boys" for a last champions league match/card school/start smoking again/drink your own body weight in lager/ cider/ vodka session. Not being a bunch of fella's famed for showing emotion it must have come as quite a shock to Aid when in the middle of Clapham High Street I grabbed him in my not inconsiderable arms and told him he was meee fuuuugggin beeezzzy maaate and allllways wid be, with a large tear in my eye. The fact 2 men were hugging on Clapham High Street didn't turn many heads so I headed for Tops but could see by the look in his crossed eyes it was not going to happen! Saying my drunken goodbye's to the lads and heading to the tube I found myself booing again! Will it ever stop?

It appears not. I have left work tonight for the final time only to arrive home and find a card from the parents telling me how proud they are of us all and how much they will miss us and ........... oh no there I go again, just thinking about leaving so many beautiful people starts me off. Am I having a last minute nervous breakdown? Is the pressure starting to get to me? Am I just as soft as a brush and yet quite in touch with my feminine side? I have no idea but will no doubt find out in the next few weeks as we have A's family to say goodbye to and a trip to brecon with gus rach et al to get through. Waterproof mascara all round, stiff upper lip, copious amounts of premium strength lager and pure adrenalin will see me through onwards to Delhi, I am ready.