Delhi's missing piece

Just lifted the following passage from a blog I did in July last year:

www.Indiansingledad.com!
It is has been a strange week for the artist formerly known as Indanhousehusband. The loss of the better half has been a strange experience. It started out with a horrible foreboding, yet has actually been a good confidence booster. There was a huge amount of anxiety that very quickly slipped away on 'A's' departure.

Roll on ten months and again I have become Indiansingledad. 'A' has returned back to Blighty for ten days on business and the contrast in emotion couldn't be more different to back in July.

I think I massively down played the sheer terror I felt the last time I was left 'home alone'. I remember the first day 'A' was gone thinking to myself; how am I going to get through five nights completely alone? Five nights!! That should have been a holiday, not a chore, but it was really tough. I felt completely exposed and slightly resentful. It was the first time and probably the only one through this whole experience were I genuinely felt emasculated. It should be me flying back on business and earning the rupees while 'A' looks after the boys and wonders how she will fill the days, but it was me. I got my head down and got on with it but couldn't wait for the moment 'A' returned and when she did, there was no feeling of pride that I had coped and everything was OK. It was just pure relief!

Move on to now and 'A' has been gone a week tomorrow and if truth be known it feels like a day! It is now much harder for her to be leaving the boys than for me to be on my own with them.I think that is a sign of how much I have changed and learned throughout this time. Nothing worries me about the boy's now, my relationship with them is incredibly different to back in July. I don't have to think too much or pre plan anything with them, everything just kind of happens naturally. I feel more skilled and more capable as a Dad than I ever did before becoming the house husband and that is something I will always be thankful for.

The real problem this time has been that I have missed my wife for selfish reasons. Not like before were 'A' was the scaffolding that held the family together, I can do that now and don't need that support. I miss her because Delhi, despite it's 16 million population feels kind of empty without her.

Every day here we see something that astounds us and that 'something' is what we share with each other. It is the little things that annoy other people that we love that make it 'our India' and our home. We both have 'love India days' were our love for the country gets cranked up another notch. We often speak during the day and 'A' will say "Having a huge love India day today" and I will feel the same. Unfortunately till she is back I can't have a true 'love India day', I need my Indianworkingmum back to appreciate everything here, I need the population to be 16 million and one!

Hurry back 'A' we miss you loads.

Raf, Sil and 'G'