Perspective!

I had a question to answer while registering Silas last week at nursery that asked the occupation of the father. I paused for a second and felt ashamed for a brief moment that I could put nothing, I also thought about lying! What would Silas say if he could talk? What does Rafa say at school when people ask what his daddy does for a job? Why do I feel slightly ashamed that my answer had to be house husband? I thought I was over all this but still it rears its ugly head.

I would love to do this for the rest of my life and find the thought of going back to work really tough. I love this time with my children and wife so why do I feel so guilty about it all? Every male I know is so jealous of my situation and yet I feel I may be starting to take it for granted. It also caused me to take a bit of a dip for the first time,feel a bit sorry for myself and make me question if we are doing the right thing - for the first time - for me.

It has made me seriously question the little microcosm of expatsville life we live in - and my role in it - for the first time. The little things that up to now have not bothered me are suddenly starting to grind. Small things like traffic and other things you have no control over, like the fact that you have to get people out five or six times to do the same job they should have done right the first time suddenly seem really important but I have had some sobering home truths to snap me out of it.

An old friend Danny is currently in a hospice for his last few days aping what recently happened to my best man and mate Matt Saunders and as most readers know my mum is currently battling cancer. On top of this I have my mother and father in law out here who have had a monumental amount of hurt to deal with over the last year, the least of which is losing their daughter and grandchildren to another continent.

I look at the way they are all dealing with their respective problems with nothing but admiration and realise my lot is pretty good! My mum is a complete inspiration, she has never put any pressure or guilt on to us here and has fought her cancer with a dignity and bravery which is breathtaking. Every step of the way she has been helped by my dad who always has and always will be my hero and my sister who has a huge amount of daily pressure of her own.

My mother and father in law are probably the most decent people I have ever met and really have no right to have gone through what they have recently along with my beautiful sister in law and yet still they are smiling and showing a stiff upper lip above and beyond the call of duty.

I always get a bit introspective and low when I am facing a trip back to blighty. I don't know for definite why but can't help but feel it might be the fact that I will be back in the Conde family bossom and not want to leave again. Open fires in Autumn, good red wine, great company and roast beef are something I am really looking forward to but part of me feels that here is home now and leaving it will be a wrench. Despite this, I can't wait to see my mum, dad and sister and tell them how much I love them and how proud I am to call them my family.

More to the point, the in laws being here and seeing their hurt and knowing the brave battle my family is putting up at home against the bastard that is cancer is helping me to realise what a great life I actually have.

It is time to "man up", see that I am living the proverbial "Reilly" life and get on with it. Dan, ma,pa,Pickle,Bomes,Peter and Brenda, you are an inspiration and I am truly the luckiest man alive. Thank you.

Dead dogs and Englishmen.

The gallery was silent, the players poised, caddies rummaged through bags and ball spotters eagerly awaited their prey. On the tee representing Great Britain in the first of the singles, Sanjeev Jagtiani closely followed by Lindsay Onton, Seelan Moodley and Tomi vuorenmma. Names not sound familiar? No Poulter, Westwood and Garcia here and the American team was shorn of Woods,Michelson and Daley represented instead by Ammerman, Mungjitfamman,Nam,Ahn and Radzus! Confused? You will be.

The British singles I named above are: American,Australian,South African and Swedish respectively! They are part of the British Golf Society (BGS) "Ryder Cup" team that comprised seven Brits, two yanks, two Aussies, two Indians, one Saffer a Swede and an Italian! An eclectic mix competing in the 55th annual "Ryder cup" against the American Golf Association (AGA). This is a tournament that was first contested in 1954 between The American High commission of New Delhi and their British counterparts and morphed slightly over the years to encompass ex-pats of all nationalities living in and around New Delhi.

Golden Greens Golf Club in Gurgaon Harayana was the venue for the contest,with the respective captains Robert Lowe (BGS) and David Ammerman (AGA) calling for a more friendly encounter this year after the last two having a "war on the shore" feel to them. The BGS seemed to be heading into the contest as favourites as the AGA were apparently scratching around for players. They managed to get a side out for match day but with some slightly questionable handicaps which added to the competitive edge and feeling of gamesmanship rearing it's head!

The teams congregated on match day for a briefing on the rules and format and it was here that the gamesmanship was cranked up a notch. The AGA as hosts for the day were responsible for getting t-shirts for both sides but only managed to get their own sorted out. Their reason for this was the sort of thing you could imagine happening in the actual Ryder Cup and therefore completely excusable, imagine a conversation something like this:

2010 Ryder Cup captains meeting first morning:

Colin Montgomerie: Morning Corey

Corey pavin: Hey big Monty how you doing?

CM: Not bad thanks, I hear you have had a few problems getting a team together this year?

CP: Yeah I won't lie it has been a pain in the ass but I have got there in the end. Tiger got pulled back home due to the recession, Phil has been relocated to Hong Kong recently and Boo has split up with the Mrs and had to move back home.We got a few players at the last minute and I won't lie Col their handicaps could be a bit iffy!

cm: Don't worry about it Corey it is more important we play the game and in the right spirit as well. Have you got our team shirts as some of the guys are keen to get out on the range?

cp: Ah yes t-shirts, we were going to sort them out right?

cm: yes

cp: Yeah well,er slight problem there as we never actually managed to get yours done.

cm: Why not Corey? You all have your new matching shirts on with beautifully embroidered logo, where are ours?

cp: Well you see it was kinda funny but the place we went to get them seemed to have a few problems after they did ours

cm: Problems, what sort of problems Corey?

cp: Well it seems that there embroidery machine broke down and it was too late in the day to get them done elsewhere. Well when I say embroidery machine broke down what I actually mean is the factory got busted for using child labour and in the raid everything in the factory was seized including your shirts!

cm: Oh well never mind, we will play in skins.

cp: Good man Col, knew you would understand.

The BGS never actually played in skins - much to my disappointment, the factory was raided for breaking child labour laws though and the captain took it all with admirable good grace. Very similar to how you would imagine Monty to be!

The BGS captain Rob Lowe, is not the Hollywood heartthrob and founding brat pack member (though very similar in physique and equally handsome) but an Essex boy involved in international shipping. He is also one of the better golfers playing off a very respectable 11 handicap and one of the BGS "bankers" for a point. Unfortunately on the day he was resoundingly beaten by the aforementioned Kitisak Mungjitfamman a name a lot easier to type than say!

The reasons for the skipper getting beaten were many, here are a selection of them:

"I played like a bit of a tosser"

"I spent more time in the bush than Ray Mears"

" My driver didn't function"

"My driver ran over a pair of dogs on the way to the game"

In the last quote, the driver mentioned has nothing to do with a golf club at all but is Rob's chaufer. On the way in to the golf club he inadvertently ran over a couple of strays which is not a pleasant experience at the best of times but becomes ten times worse when the local villagers all come out and claim they are their pets! Rob was in a nasty situation where he had a straight choice between a large amount of compensation or a good kicking. Not surprisingly he chose to make a donation and try and get some treatment for the dog's and thus had other things on his mind on the first tee!

He was by no means alone in defeat though and several members of the BGS had an equally good reason - note the emphasis on reason as opposed to excuse - for defeat, another piece of gamesmanship from the AGA!

This final and despicable under-hand tactic was revealed in the pre match address when it was announced by the American captain that the free bar at the party in the evening would be closing at 9pm! A more cutting blow could not have been delivered, a dagger to the heart of the hardened drinkers of the BGS. A blow John "tiger" Tilley and David "kingfisher" Taylor never really recovered from, both losing their respective four balls through lack of concentration and huge disappointment. David was heard to grumble through gritted teeth on the 11th tee while 1 down:

"It's ridiculous, don't they know we don't even start drinking till 9pm usually"?

While they were busy going 2 down!

The four balls were undoubtedly the Achilles heal in the BGS team with the only positive score being a win from Michael Archdeacon (AUS) and Andrew Horne(GBR) proving that there really is no bitter taste left after that Ashes win!

Point scorers in the singles included Sanjeev Jagtiani, an American flown in at great expense from Mumbai,Seelan Moodley a South African driven in from Vasant Vihar, Tomi Vuorenmma from Sweeden and Richard Downey from Enland,a great performance from the Scouse media mogul beating a Korean 10 handicapper. Richard was six up at the turn but his game fell apart due to a par blitz from his opponent and the distraction of worrying what he was going to do after 9pm! He eventually won on the 18th with a birdie and this wasn't to be Richard's only victory of the day, he also won most pissed person of the evening narrowly beating my wife 'A' into second place.

The day culminated in a Mongolian bar-be-que, a tray of tequila slammers from David Briskman (no doubt helping Rich and 'A' on their way),free beer and wine and the trophy presentation and speaches at the American ACSA club which was likened to: "An ex-eastern bloc detention centre" by a BGS member that wanted to remain strictly "off the record". For the record, the USA recorded a seven and a half, four and a half victory to take the trophy for the first time in 2 years

Next year could be interesting as numbers on both sides are dwindling and the chance of both teams playing in "skins" is a very real possibility! Till then, congratulations to the AGA and well drunk to the BGS!

As a small foot note I just wanted to say hi to the four very hungover Glaswegian Indians in the club house. Unfortunately, though showing a massive amount of potential - not necessarily in golf but in the fact they were wearing sunglasses in doors at 10am - they were just passing through and couldn't become BGS members. They were golfing their way from Delhi to the Punjab doing their "Kunta Kinte thing" and obviously doing some pretty impressive drinking on the way. I hope the trip was a success and if you ever move back fellas, please look us up, fresh blood is always welcome!

Pictured top left: The elegance of Richard Downey
top right: Damn that pesky 9pm curfew, David Taylor
bottom left: Richard Downey,Rajesh Bakshi and Sanjeev Jagtiani.

I wanna wake up this old city that always sleeps.

The Commonwealth games are fast approaching here in Delhi, they are in fact now less than a year away. The chief officer for the games Sheila Dikshit - I swear it is true - has promised to deliver an epic games with state of the art facilities for both competitor's and spectators.

I don't doubt what she says but they really need to get a move on! The city at the moment is like one huge building site. The redevelopment that comes along with the games is going to be a huge bonus for this amazing city, with new roads and flyovers springing up and a metro system the envy of anywhere providing a lasting legacy of the games. It should also hopefully wake the government and the people from it's slumber and get them to start taking part in sport and particularly athletics.

The Delhites and Indian's in general can be a little bit - to put it politely - lethargic! The nations favourite pass time would appear to be sleeping and 'just enough' would appear to be good enough for them. Most of the ex-pats I speak to say the most frustrating thing is the working standards of the Indian people. The work ethic is there but the attitude seems to be near enough is good enough and evidence of this can be found all over Delhi.

It is a constant source of amazement to me that you can drive past a flyover in the afternoon that looks like it still has months to go till completion, only to drive over it the next day. It is like someone has told them it needs to be finished by tomorrow so everyone piles in to get it finished and they do. They open the flyover on time as promised and the cars stream over and the traffic eases and everyone is happy. The problem is, at some point someone has said "sod clearing all that rubble up and fixing those crash barriers, we will do that tomorrow once it is open". Unfortunately the next day once it is open there is another flyover that needs to be opened elsewhere and everyone moves over to that and forgets about clearing up the rubble and fixing the crash barriers!

Everything has a feeling of 'half finished' about it and you have to wonder if they will ever get round to doing the other half. It seems to be an attitude that spills over in to sport with the obvious exception of cricket though it could be argued success there was only after an influx of foreign coaching and ideals. Football is growing hugely here but the money going into the sport is not increasing at the same rate and they are therefore plodding along with poor facilities, poor coaching and one would imagine by the sheer numbers, a massive amount of talent. The Indian 100mtr record is over 10.5 seconds and if you google sprinting and India it is virtually impossible to find anything related to Indian nationals. This from a country with an estimated population of 1.3 billion!

I am fascinated to know what the cause of this malaise is and more to the point, how do they as a nation snap out of it? The friends that I have made here who are Indians are in the main hugely successful,thus completely contradicting what I have been going on about in the previous paragraphs. Most of them have come from relative privilege though so have an advantage from the start but seem to agree with alot of what I say.

Everywhere you go you see people snoozing, on the side of the road, in the middle of roundabouts, on auto rick's, lorries,cars and even bikes. It is a national pass time and when I ask friends why this is they have no real answer. The most popular theory seems to be that is just a habit, something people have seen their father's and grandfather's before them doing and have just followed on. Our house keeper Indu snoozes at every possible opportunity. When she babysits she is often asleep before we are in the taxi and will always cop a few zee's in her lunch break.

I can't help but wonder what this country could achieve in sport and commerce if it got it's act together and woke up. They are leading the field in sectors like i.t. and their outsourcing capabilities are second to none. What if they were to turn these skills to sport. What if they as a nation made a decision to start doing things properly,finish jobs they started and stopped accepting 'just enough' as being good enough? Then we would see a huge change that would surely be beneficial to the people of this fabulous country.

I know exactly what needs to be done to wake them from their slumber and change the decades of indifference and apathy. A blueprint for the the children of India that they can follow to make them a super-power in sport and world commerce. Give them pride in what they are doing and the desire to get things finished.

I would type it out now but really feel I should sleep on it!