School Daze

Rafa has started school! I know it is the oldest cliche in the world but now the question really does need answering; WHERE DOES THE TIME GO? I am fairly sure he only came out of nappies 6 weeks ago and started talking only last week. This is how it seems to me anyway. There is definitely something in the space-time continuum that changes when you have children. It somehow makes time speed up for you, while simultaneously slowing it down for anyone without.

What exactly did we used to do with our lives before having children? I asked 'A' who seems to remember a lot of dining out, theatre and pubs. My recollection is pub's, Cat deeley on SMTV and the Hollyoaks omnibus and yet here I am planning the school run! What happened in between? Is this how it is for everybody? Time is slipping by so fast. Before I know it Raf is going to think I am a complete tosser and not want anything to do with me,'A' will have left me because I play golf too much - she can't bear to see me in golf slacks and polo shirts - and I will be 22 stone,living in a bedsit in Penge while working in a call centre.

This might all sound a bit dramatic but the problem is, my mind is having chance to idle again. With Rafa at school and Silli asleep my head has time to contemplate the future and it keeps veering off in the direction of the South circular and Penge in particular!

This is all I am sure, just my way of dealing with this very proud moment in a parent's life. I get all introspective and nostalgic, while 'A' just keeps crying! Packing the lunch box, little snivel. Rafa walking to car in his uniform, small sob, Rafa walking in to classroom, a tear shed but in control. Rafa bursting out of the school gate with his shirt un-tucked and his hat on yelling:

"Don't worry, I did everything the teacher told me to!"

Breakdown!!! I have to confess, for us both. Nothing can prepare you emotionally for the start of your first Born's schooling. It is a huge mixed bag of pride, happiness, sadness and worry. Pride that you have managed to get them in to a good school, happiness that they are going to make new friends and have new adventures, sadness that it is the end of an era and worry that you are now handing over your most treasured thing in the world to someone Else's care.

The first day was like a full on, out of body experience for me. It felt like it was happening to someone else, while I hovered just above looking down on it all. We gathered in the school hall waiting for the headmaster to give us a welcome speech, when I had my first flashback. I clearly heard one of my old teacher's 'beefy Graham'shout

"Conde, stop cloyning abite an sit dine nigh" (needs to be read with Belfast accent)
Closely followed by 'Porno Pete Atkinson' clipping me round the ear. I swear, I actually had the ringing in my ear afterwards it was so real.This couldn't be me, here, now with my own son could it? I still feel like a child myself most of the time and don't feel anywhere near old enough to have my own at school.At the same time though I felt an overwhelming surge of responsibility. Responsibility to encourage him through his school years, to try and help him develop an interest in learning and make him appreciate what he will get out of it with a little effort.

It was with some relief that we eventually left the main hall and the smell of the polished floor - the same smell at all schools in the world - and crossed the playing fields to Rafa's new classroom. The place that is going to start him on the path to greatness, Doctor, surgeon, lawyer or city high flier? Who knows what the future will hold for him? 'A' thinks he will be Albert Einstein while I am more inclined to think Lex Luther, but whatever path he chooses, I will always remember his first day at school. I will remember the look of joy on 'A's face, the look of fear on Rafa's but most of all the feeling of love and pride I felt at that moment for my little boy.