Nescafe moment brings peace to the roads

I have today been involved in my first incident of road rage. Well I say road rage, it was probably more,road mild irritation if truth be known.It wasn't even actually aimed at me, in fact scrub the first line completely and let me start this all over again.

I was in the back of a rick - where I seem to spend half my waking hours - when it overtook a man on a motorbike and blasted it's horn. To those of you who have been to India this will not seem too untoward, as - for those who haven't been - this is perfectly normal.Out here, the horn is actually a replacement for an indicator, brake light and reverse light and in the evening the headlight's. I am not exaggerating I promise the horn can mean any of the following at any time:-

I am overtaking you.
I am undertaking you.
I am turning right.
I am turning left.
I am going straight on.
I am stopping.
I know it is dark and I have no headlights but you will hear me if you can't see me.
Get out of my way you tit.
Why did you do that.
I am going to come past you whether you move or not.
I hate you and I want to kill you.

You get the message.

The point is that the horn means everything and nothing but when used it never usually raises any kind of reaction from the hornee (think I have just invented a word). You get none of the snarling and gesticulating that goes on in Blighty. No threats of retribution issued through the windows and never do you see people out of their car's at the lights ready for 'handbags' if you dare to lean on the klaxon. I have no idea what separates the Indian man - I say man because it is very rare to see a woman driving here which some might say is no bad thing, though not me obviously because I am in touch with my feminine side and think women are wonderful driver's who never have trouble negotiating roundabout's - from his British counterpart but am going to make it my mission to find out.

Can you imagine what I can achieve if I can get to the bottom of it? Take a busy London road in 40deg heat with everybody cutting each other up and beeping at each other but just getting on with it. It would be Shangri La, Utopia and Heaven all rolled in to one, the roads would once again become a pleasurable place to be. It is my mission from this moment on to discover the secret and bring peace to the UK roads,and all because a little fella on a scooter gave the universal signal of (i know not many under 40's will get this reference but I am going to use it) Gareth Hunt coffee bean shaking! Watch this space.